first haircut

i made an appointment with my hair lady for 11am yesterday, october 31st. i wanted to take another set of formal pictures first, but i never got around to it, i woke up with a feeling of dread, but i layed out our clothes so we could get showered and bathed....and then i cancelled the appointment. i didn't do it, i didn't want to in the first place, there are people in our family (like daddy) who really want his haircut, and there are some who think i'm nuts for not cutting it because it is a not neat...it's a messy mop of curls. there are plenty of others who don't feel a need for a haircut like me. it's not in his eyes, it's long on the back and sides, but curls up to the top of his neck anyway.

why didn't i do it? or rather why don't i want to do it?

he is my baby! i don't feel the need to rush him into boyhood and then manhood. i knew it wasn't the right thing to do when i woke up with a knot in my stomach. does that make me a bad mother for trying to hold onto babyhood a little longer? i don't know and i don't care...so at 18 months still no haircut, and to be honest as long as it is not in his eyes, i don't care if people constantly mistake him for a girl, i'm not ready!